Kristen Wiig is GQ’s “Bro of the Year,” as illustrated by the above photograph.
Because nothing says “bro” like lingerie and high heels. Kudos to GQ for knowing exactly what I’m looking for in a good bro.
Ladies! Do you want to hang out with the dudes and be just one of the guys? STEP ONE: You always gotta be there for your bros. STEP TWO: Have a rockin’ killer rack, bro.
What? Double standard? It’s cold in here? That “you’re objectifying me” talk is pretty un-bro-like, buuuuuuuddy. Haven’t you ever heard of “bros before heated conversations about the male gaze”?
Yeah, throw on some make-up and make a sexy pouty face; now you’re thinking like a bro!
Hey, duders, you wanna shoot the shit while tossing back some epic chimichangas at the burritos-as-big-as-your-head stand out by the old Jiffy Lube? Ha ha, not you, bro, you’re on a diet! Gotta keep your trim bro-like physique!
But seriously though, if I can get real with y’all for a sec: My bro-bros are a lot of things. They’re loyal, they’re fun, they’re down-to-earth. If I’m ever in trouble, I know my dude-friends got my back. We have a bond, unspoken but unbroken, and thick like a lumberjack’s dick. My bros are my brothers, true as the truth. But most importantly, they’re really really hot.
