Boring Old Raphael.TUMBLR

03 Apr
~ 2014 ~

Hello, this is just to say

that I am lying in bed and I am having trouble falling asleep so I thought I would take out my super secret private journal and jot down a few notes about how I’m feeling right now at this very instant in time, not necessarily because anybody else will find it interesting (although who am I kidding, the very fact that I’m writing this here means I assume some people will find it interesting), but more because this feels like a moment in my life that I will want to REMEMBER and so I am putting it here in this internet place where I will be able to find it later, as a document of what THINGS ARE LIKE RIGHT NOW.

And this is just to say that I have been very busy these last several months writing and producing my own TV show, which still feels like a very weird thing to say and an even weirder thing to actually be a true fact that exists and is happening. Running my own show has been an incredible experience — I feel like Charlie after Willy Wonka gave him the chocolate factory. I got really lucky with an incredible staff of writers (not a dud in the bunch!) and an unbelievable cast of actors, and just the most wonderful collection of artists and animators and directors and editors and line producers and I’m sure I’m forgetting some people, but basically everyone’s been an incredible talent who has raised considerably the quality of the project, and I know that to say all that sounds like the bullshit that everyone has to say, but this is my own secret private livejournal, so you know I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.

I remember around episode eight realizing that I could just start phoning it in and we’d still have an amazing show, just because of all the great work everyone else was doing, and I made the mistake of telling that to one of the execs at Netflix, who said, Well, uh, please don’t start phoning it in, and spoiler alert, I didn’t. (Netflix has been a phenomenal company to work for, by the way — so supportive and trusting and helpful — if you ever get the opportunity to make a show for Netflix, I highly recommend you take it. I remember around episode six realizing that this was the longest I’d ever worked on a show where the network still liked the show, and what an amazing feeling that was.)

And this is just to say that this part is kind of the Magic Hour, where everything is so full of wonderful potential — right now the show is on its way to being a thing that exists that could be perfect, as opposed to a few months from now when it will actually be an actual thing that exists that is not perfect. Right now I don’t have to worry about what other people think — I don’t need to obsess over all the things I screwed up that it’s too late to fix. Right now I can just enjoy the feeling of having something that belongs to just me and a handful of writers and producers and directors and artists and animators and editors and assistants and script coordinators and Netflix executives. Today I had a meeting with the people who are going to dub my show into Portuguese and Spanish and French and German so that people all over the world could watch the show that I created, and let me tell you that’s a trip. If you ever get the opportunity to sit in a room with people who are going to translate something you wrote into Portuguese and Spanish and German and French, I recommend you take it.

And this is just to say that one of the weird things about being so incredibly busy and then gradually not so busy is that things come back, the things you’re too busy for come back. A few weeks ago, after I finished writing the season finale, I had a dream about an ex-girlfriend, and I remembered, Oh right, THIS is a thing. I had been too busy for all my anxieties and neuroses and stupid stupid memories, like I actually just did not have the time or brain space to worry about all that shit, and then the second I got less busy it all came rushing back, which on the hand, Daaaaaaang, but on the other hand, Hello old friend.

Anyway, my apartment is a mess, and I still haven’t done my taxes, and I feel bad that I don’t make more of an effort to see my friends, especially now that I’m starting to have a little more free time, and on nights like this, when I can’t sleep, I just have this feeling that no matter what, even in spite of all my recent good fortune, I’m never going to just wake up one morning and find that I’m all of a sudden some other better me, the me I want to be that I’ve convinced so many other people to see me as, that instead I’m just kind of doomed to be the me that I am, and I work that feeling like a loose tooth.

But again, that’s just like default anxiety, that’s nothing to get all bent out of shape about, this is a very exciting time for me and I’m not a TOTAL idiot so I get that. I GET IT.

And I’m already worried about what people are going to think about this show (which doesn’t even premiere until August, which feels so far away but also like tomorrow) or that even if they like it, they won’t like it for the right reasons, or that a lot of people will like it, but the people that REALLY matter won’t, or most terrifying of all, that it succeeds beyond my wildest dreams and then I have to figure out what happens next. (MR. WONKA: “Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted…” CHARLIE BUCKET: “What happened?” MR. WONKA: “Yeah, exactly, right? I know, right? Totally….”)

But, oh my God, good problems to have, right? I saw my family last week and my grandfather told me the story of how his father got stabbed in the back by his best friend. They were working together for Polish independence, and then when they got it there was a big celebration which turned into a big pogrom, and because my great-grandfather was Jewish, his best friend stabbed him in the actual literal back, just because, like, that was a thing you did in those days in Eastern Europe. And my great-grandfather was like, Fuck THIS shit, I’m going to America. And because of that, he missed the Holocaust, and because of that all of us are alive.

So if that doesn’t put things in perspective, re: my dumb little Netflix series about a talking cartoon horse and all my dumb little neuroses, well then I don’t know what.

And this is just to say that I feel unbelievably lucky that I get to exist and be alive, as imperfect and embarrassing as I am, and that I get to tell my dumb little stories for Netflix, and write in my dumb little journal. These last six months have been amazing. These last thirty years have been amazing. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that my great-grandfather’s best friend in Poland stabbed him in the back.

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31 Mar
~ 2014 ~

If you can find the time in today’s busy world (shout out to Richard Scarry!), I would recommend swimming through a couple of Adam Maygar’s super-slo-mo subway platform videos. Turn the lights low and full-screen this shit, because it is gorgeous and fascinating and requires your full attention.

My friend Joe told me about these videos. Thanks, my friend Joe! 

So many different kinds of faces. Everybody’s waiting for something.

tagged: [I fart about art]
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01 Jan
~ 2014 ~
These are all the movies on Morgan Fairchild’s wikipedia page that don’t have their own wikipedia pages. So much mystery! What was “Bikini Model Academy” about? Is “Just Deserts” a spelling error or an attempt at wordplay? I feel like this is what Jenna from 30 Rock’s resume must look like. Some of these titles are so evocative I feel like they don’t even need wikipedia entries. I mean, is there anything else you need to know about “Point of Seduction: Body Chemistry III” or “Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000” that isn’t right there in the titles?

These are all the movies on Morgan Fairchild’s wikipedia page that don’t have their own wikipedia pages. So much mystery! What was “Bikini Model Academy” about? Is “Just Deserts” a spelling error or an attempt at wordplay? I feel like this is what Jenna from 30 Rock’s resume must look like. Some of these titles are so evocative I feel like they don’t even need wikipedia entries. I mean, is there anything else you need to know about “Point of Seduction: Body Chemistry III” or “Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000” that isn’t right there in the titles?

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25 Dec
~ 2013 ~
No place like home for the holidays.

No place like home for the holidays.

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14 Dec
~ 2013 ~
The Exquisite Corpse Project is now available on DVD and Blu-Ray.
Just in time for the holidays (well, certain holidays), The Exquisite Corpse Project can now be yours to own in a physical format that you can hold in your hands and put on your shelves and wrap up in gift wrap and give to your friends. Sure, you can still stream the movie online for only five bucks (still a great deal for the uninitiated!), but damn it, sometimes you want something tactile you can own, in this crazy ephemeral world that we live in. And since both the DVD and Blu-Ray are literally metaphorically stuffed to their gills with bonus features, you don’t have to feel like a sucker for buying the full package. Our virtual merch table also has posters, t-shirts, and an EP by Dave’s band The Wake Up Kings, featured in The Exquisite Corpse Project. Fun for the whole family!
Buy our movie!
Buy Our Movie!
BuyOurMovie.com!

The Exquisite Corpse Project is now available on DVD and Blu-Ray.

Just in time for the holidays (well, certain holidays), The Exquisite Corpse Project can now be yours to own in a physical format that you can hold in your hands and put on your shelves and wrap up in gift wrap and give to your friends. Sure, you can still stream the movie online for only five bucks (still a great deal for the uninitiated!), but damn it, sometimes you want something tactile you can own, in this crazy ephemeral world that we live in. And since both the DVD and Blu-Ray are literally metaphorically stuffed to their gills with bonus features, you don’t have to feel like a sucker for buying the full package. Our virtual merch table also has posters, t-shirts, and an EP by Dave’s band The Wake Up Kings, featured in The Exquisite Corpse Project. Fun for the whole family!

Buy our movie!

Buy Our Movie!

BuyOurMovie.com!

(Source: gcapshare)

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11 Dec
~ 2013 ~

So excited I can finally talk about this amazing project I’ve been putting together over the last few years. Can’t talk about it right now though — we’ve got twelve episodes to write! See you in six months!

(Source: popculturebrain)

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24 Nov
~ 2013 ~

Oh, LA. I missed you.

tagged: [LA a note to follow SO]
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19 Nov
~ 2013 ~

Look! I made a thing! The table turned out NOT BAD I think. It’s a little My-First-Decoupage, which is okay because that’s what it is. There are a lot of weird wrinkles and bubbles and time will tell if I put on enough layers of glop for this thing to withstand the ravages that come from being my table. During the process I got worried that I was ruining a perfectly good piece of furniture (and two perfectly good books), but I think at the end of the day I’d rather have something that’s a little less perfectly good if that makes it a little more mine.

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12 Nov
~ 2013 ~

If ‘Pineapple Express’ had been about two girls, they wouldn’t have made it. And if I were a woman, I wouldn’t have a career.

Seth Rogen acknowledging sexism in Hollywood. (Source: chickdelalynch, via annetdonahue)

Oh, cool! Good to know things will be different for women when Seth Rogen is in charge of things!

tagged: [(in which Seth Rogen accidentally refers to himself as 'THEY')] [uh oh here comes feminism!!!!]
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11 Nov
~ 2013 ~

standardreview:

We watched all three Step Up movies today. Step Up 2 The Streets is probably the best of the three, but this number is the best number of the series. Watch this!

JUST realized the young woman in this charming number is also the little white girl from the Missy Elliott videos.

Having a very productive week already! Dance us into the week, Alyson Stoner!

tagged: [sing and dance us into the week]
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09 Nov
~ 2013 ~

YOU GUYS! I figured out the best kind of joke! I’ve been workshopping this bit for the past few months and when dropped into casual conversation it has never not received an overwhelmingly positive reaction. I do not think I am overstating things when I call this ever-adaptable joke structure the very best kind of joke there could ever possibly be. Since I am nothing if not generous I now give this bold new style of joke to you, the world. Have at it! Enjoy being hilarious!

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30 Oct
~ 2013 ~

A few of my favorite pieces from the Christopher Wool exhibition at the Guggenheim.

tagged: [I fart about art]
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29 Oct
~ 2013 ~

Move across the country.

Move across the country and hope the sadness won’t find you, won’t follow you like a stray dog from coast to coast. Hope that the sadness isn’t just a fog on a leash shadowing you always. Hope that the sadness can’t be as fleet as you are, hope that the sadness is more rooted. Perhaps the sadness has friends, a family, and can’t just pick up and go. Look at all this stuff the sadness has in California, New York, wherever you’re currently leaving. How’s the sadness going to survive without all this stuff? Hope this isn’t one of those Anywhere-I-Hang-My-Hat-Is-Home type situations where the sadness hangs its hat on you. Hope that you are not the sadness’s home, anywhere you go, no matter how far, no matter how quick, the sadness lives in you. Hope to God it’s not that.

Move across the country and start a new adventure. Create a brand new life, buy a new set of furniture, a fresh autumn coat. Make new friends and reconnect with old ones. Fill your days with distraction. Take a class, pick up a hobby, learn an instrument, anything to make the days pass quicker, to accumulate distance, to get you as far away as possible from the day that you left.

Move across the country and watch the short yellow lines shoot past you down the pavement. See the city recede in the distance behind the boxes of things obstructing your rear window. Settle somewhere fertile, plant a new you and watch you blossom. You can barely remember that old you now, the you who lived in that other city and was sad. That old you wasn’t you; this is you. This is the you you want to be.

And when the sadness catches up, tracks you down, when the sadness like a phoenix regenerates, when you return home one day, arms full of groceries, to find the sadness sitting at the kitchen table, casually reading the paper as if it never left, eating a muffin as if this was all perfectly natural — when that happens, you can put your groceries down and walk back out the door and close the door behind you. You can get a job in another town and pack up all your stuff and move across the country. Move across the country and start again someplace new.

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28 Oct
~ 2013 ~
adamconover:

Let’s be honest. Halloween sucks. It’s the same boring shit every year — scary this, sexy that, candy, witches, whatever. That’s why for the October 31st edition of Fresh Out, we’re throwing a very special Un-Halloween bash!
If you’re sick of this trite, shallow holiday, take refuge inside the UCBeast Theatre for a show that we guarantee will be 100% devoid of Halloween-themed content! There will be games, contests, and tons of fun, none of which will require you to put on an uncomfortable, unfunny costume just because you’re afraid you’ll get made fun of if you don’t.
With me as my very special cohost will be the hilarious and decidely unspooky Raphael Bob-Waksberg. Come out for what definitely won’t be the fright of your life!

Get ready for an epic spooktacular of frightful proportions! Wait, no, the opposite of that.

adamconover:

Let’s be honest. Halloween sucks. It’s the same boring shit every year — scary this, sexy that, candy, witches, whatever. That’s why for the October 31st edition of Fresh Out, we’re throwing a very special Un-Halloween bash!

If you’re sick of this trite, shallow holiday, take refuge inside the UCBeast Theatre for a show that we guarantee will be 100% devoid of Halloween-themed content! There will be games, contests, and tons of fun, none of which will require you to put on an uncomfortable, unfunny costume just because you’re afraid you’ll get made fun of if you don’t.

With me as my very special cohost will be the hilarious and decidely unspooky Raphael Bob-Waksberg. Come out for what definitely won’t be the fright of your life!

Get ready for an epic spooktacular of frightful proportions! Wait, no, the opposite of that.

Comments (View) / 5 notes


+

I feel like baby announcements

are like really short mystery novels.

"It’s" (why the gender neutral pronoun?) "a" (suspense is building) "boy!" (Oh! It was a boy all along!)

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